Tony Blair had Alastair Campbell but we have Lorraine English! What am I talking about? Well Mr Campbell thought he was a spin doctor before he got into jogging but in Lorraine we have the Spin Doctor's Doctor. Today we got to one final spin class with Lorraine before setting off on Monday. Lorraine has grabbed the fundraising bull by the horns and got firmly behind us and the cause (metaphorically speaking of course because she leads from the front!). It would be unlikely that anyone who attends Lorraine's classes doesn't know what's happening next week so, on behalf of the Hospice, a big thank you must go out to Lorraine. We all enjoy the classes and there is no doubting the dedication to enjoyment as demonstrated in the short video above. If you listen closely, you will hear Lorraine making the first tentative inquiries into when we will celebrate the achievement with a night out.

On yer bike Jim, says Lorraine

It's time to start ticking off the items on the checklist or if your name's Adrian, phone Jimi and ask him to do it for you. Bike, check, tent, check, sleeping bag, check, oh to hell with this where's Jimi? Oh aye, he's gone to Decathlon to get me a bike, tent and sleeping bag. Do we not have a soigneur for that?

LLL

Seven Riders for Seven Sisters

The Tudor 7 did not wish to comment when quizzed on the legitimacy of choosing members of the female gender as the object of their misogyny. The only female member of the D2D crew has gone on record saying that she has no problem with male company as long as they keep their distance when she is doing the cooking. The gourmet driving chefs may have something to say about this, probably something like, "Any chance of another sausage with that?"

"The boys just like keeping themselves to themselves and that gives me time to reflect on why am I here", said Pauline while ironing the crew T-Shirts for Monday's publicity shoot. The T-Shirts had to washed and ironed since they got a bit wet last time out and who likes smelly gear? That's right, just girls.

So first photo will be at "The Cutting Edge" Barber on Upper Ormeau Road at 10.30am Monday. Proprietor, Frankie Campbell, is providing team hairstyling for those that have it and a bit of a slap for the rest. He has made his kitchen available to the lady member of the party for tea making. So let's all get there on time as the South Belfast Herald and Post have to be on the Woodstock for the warm up riots before the Mini Twelfth on Monday evening.

At High Noon, we have a second photo appointment at Shandon Golf Club where we will be met by representatives of NI Children's Hospice and we must therefore look and smell our best (I hope those shirts have been washed in something fragrant). The Captain will see us off at 12.15 precisely as he has a 12.20 tee off booked.

Any questions, please refer to my secretary - a lady.

LLL

The Wicklow Hills are very high and so are the Cliffs of Moher sir!

Thankfully we're not cycling over the Cliffs of Moher. Now that would be stupid but cycling over the Wicklow Hills is of course very sensible. However, if you didn't know that St. Patrick was a Gentleman you will be confused by now.

We have had a look at the route profile and days one and two are particularly challenging. I know that it's accepted by romantics that it is a joy to "wander " among the Wicklow Hills but let's not get carried away - at least not in an ambulance. The climbs are tough but the descents can be more dangerous. If we have wet tarmac we will have wet tyres and ineffective brakes. So perhaps we should take Jonty's advice and go to the pub.

Mine's an apple juice (slowly fermented in the dark) please!

LLL

Tonight's patron meets the projectionist

Well readers, despite the torrential rain, the football and a visit from the Queen of England, nothing could keep the real supporters of the D2D crew away from the quaint little Tudor Cinema on the outskirts of Comber tonight. Stephney "Winkleman" Gourley dipped into her extensive archive of feel - good movies to produce tonight's offering which went down swimmingly with the cinema-going public of North Down. True, this was helped along with copious vessels of tonsil lubrication courtesy again of Gourley Grapes, Belfast's fastest growing wine producer. The Gourley motto is, "It's great being us", and it was certainly great being part of tonight's party especially when we note that another substantial amount has been raised for the Children's Hospice - £400.

This evening was the last gathering of the riders before start day, next Monday. With the fundraising total gradually heading in the right direction, here is a reminder of the page www.justgiving.com/dublin2dingle and please ask all your friends and acquaintances to check out the team's progress. This is still only the calm before the storm and it is important to the crew that as many supporters as possible can encourage them over those mountains (and I'm not speaking metaphorically) next week.

Thanks again to everyone who turned out tonight. And Spain won on penalties!

LLL

Wednesday Night's Presentation

The clock is ticking and film night has arrived. If you had planned to watch the semi final of the Euros, tough. Don't you have a Hard Disk Recorder or a Tivo Box or something? Jimi and Stef have put a lot of effort into organising this event so it would be great to see a full house.

The film is based on a true story and I will gladly provide the background to anyone who asks. So for the benefit of the anoraks amongst you I will leave that for now, to allow us to critique the film after this viewing. Suffice to say there is class story, a love story (ish) and some cycling which make for all round good family entertainment. Dennis Quaid looks a lot younger in the film than he is. That's because the film was made in 1979 and he is therefore 33 years older looking now. IMdB gave the movie 7.6 out of 10 which is more than The Godfather got when he entered the 1933 Brooklyn Beauty Pageant.

The movie will begin as close to 7.30pm as possible so please leave time to get lost if the directions below are too difficult for you to follow. You will find The Tudor cinema, privately owned by Mr Noel Spence, at 22A Drumhirk Road, Comber, County Down, Northern Ireland.

Directions

From Belfast take the Newtownards Road and travel along this road, past the areas known as the Holywood Arches and Ballyhackamore and keep straight ahead until you pass by the main entrance to the Stormont estate, known colloquially as 'The Mile'. This is now the Upper Newtownards Road.

Continue along the Upper Newtownards Road until you reach the large slightly curved building of Portland Stone known as Dundonald House. At the crossroads there you should again travel straight ahead but move into the outside lane in preparation for a right turn.

You will pass Knock Golf Club on your left and a cemetery on your right. At the next set of lights you take a right turn onto the Comber Road, Dundonald. Continue straight ahead.

When you reach Comber you will see a sign pointing to the left, which is the town centre. Ignore that sign and travel straight ahead. After a long straight stretch the road veers to the left. You will come to a roundabout.

At the roundabout turn right onto the Killyleagh Road. Almost exactly one mile from that roundabout you will reach a road on your right called the Drumhirk Road. Turn onto this road.

After approximately 0.4 miles you will reach a small road to your left that has a house beside it with ranch style fencing. Turn left onto this road and travel ahead 200-300 yards.

This road ends with the Tudor cinema to your left. There is a sizeable car park in front of the cinema.

If you are cycling, please bring lights as it could be dark on your return journey - especially if you're heading to Limavady.

LLL

Le soigneur et le cycliste

The relationship between the support team and the cyclist has been called into question in recent times. The role of the soigneur has been, traditionally, to ensure that the cyclist is kept in optimum condition to complete the challenges that the tour present him. This may involve providing post stage massage to ensure prevention of injury and rehabilitation. Additionally, the soigneur is responsible for the general health and well-being of the team and does everything from making travel arrangements to arranging post-race nutrition to ease tired bodies. Some soigneurs have developed the role into that of unofficial drug baron ministering to the requirements of their team brought about by the demanding schedule presented by a trek such as the D2D.

Our own personal soigneur revels in this role. At Shandon, he is often called by his  pet name, Escobar. When the day's cycling is done, he is first at the bar to obtain stimulants in the form of processed grain. Complement this with his renowned protein replecement therapy and a session in the massage chair for that all over feeling of euphoria. When you are ready to retire for the evening he will make sure you have the necessary nightcap to help with insomnia and when the cock crows he will rouse you with the best that Brazil has to offer and I'm not talking about Pele.

One sugar or two?

LLL

We have just passed the four figure mark on our Justgiving page and we still have a week to go before the real fun starts.

It is a good time, therefore, to remind everyone what we are cycling for. We are cycling because we enjoy cycling and it will be good craic travelling from East to West across the breadth of Ireland under our own steam. None of us are getting any younger (the age range of cyclists is 46 to 61) and we are very lucky that we are able to step up to the challenge - I hope this proves to be true. So, if we can raise some funds for the Hospice at the same time, everybody wins.

Caring for terminally ill young people is never easy and the Children's Hospice do their wonderful work without any government funding. That means that your help helps them to keep providing their caring service. Remember that you are not sponsoring any of us as individuals but you are helping unfortunate young people to be more comfortable in the relatively short lives they have been allowed.

I make no apologies for the stark picture that this paints. We all know that, too often, reality is bleak and lives are unfair. Take time to consider this and visit www.justgiving.com/dublin2dingle to make a life more bearable.

Thank you.

LLL

Somewhere between Belfast and Dublin

At the crack of Dawn today, on Belfast's Stranmillis Embankment, a hardy bunch of lycra clad folk braved the elements in order to set off on the annual trek to Dublin. The direct route to Dublin is one of 100 miles but staying safe and off the main drag, this route is one of approximately 111 miles. As we all know it is downhill all the way to Dublin but we must note that the return journey tomorrow is therefore uphill, or at least that's how it feels when the last refreshment stop in Moira is reached with 200 miles in the legs. Add to that the rain and wind this weekend and it becomes a challenge worthy of the D2D crew.

Keep going for another 100 miles - ish past Dublin and you would wind up in Kilkenny where we will be on the 3rd July. Now, I have been less that complimentary of the good burghers of the Marble City, but I must retract those comments in light of the fact that last night I received offers of support from two fine taverns in that town. Just like the Friar in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales who knew the taverns well in every town, we must maintain a good relationship with the Innkeepers and Barmaids too. Better than lepers, beggars and that crew says Chaucer and I think he may have been clairvoyantly referring to us in that prediction. Whatever, we will be visiting the hostelries whose links I have put here. Our thanks to them and we look forward to partaking of a jug of mead with our new found friends.

http://www.leftbank.ie/

http://kytelersinn.com/

LLL

Throw another beer on the barbie Bunny!

Bunny is the King of the Barbie and don't even think about mentioning Ken. He likes his meat well done with lashings of sauce all washed down with ice cold lager but he always provides a babycham for the ladies. His agility with tongs and spatula is legendary, having previously been chief kitchen orderly at Scout camp. No gas BBQs for Bunny, oh no. He will only cook using traditional charcoal and the more carbonised the meat, the better. How else did he arrive at that award winning black pudding recipe! We are cautiously hoping for a change in the weather in order to experience the culinary skills of the driving gourmet chef. Even Bunny would have difficulty keeping his powder lit in the recent torrential downpours that have been prevalent in this part of Europe.

Is there an alternative if we are not lucky with the weather? Well, thankfully yes. Bunny has promised to provide three nutritional meals per day no matter what the meteorological conditions because as a servant of the Water Service, he is glad to see the rain. So, fortunately, if the weather provides for them, they will reciprocate for us. Not doing any rain dances mind you.........

LLL

Wise Men who cycled into the East

The above photo shows two Magi who having cycled 75 miles to make it to the pub in time for the televised rugby, ended up having to consume more beer than necessary at the insistence of two reformed characters from the "Fair City", with more money than the non-reformed types. Then, that is a symptom of the progressive Ireland that we inhabit. Stereotyping has never been useful and we Irish should not allow ourselves to be bought for the price of a couple of pints! However, nobody will argue with a free meal and feed of liquid energy, certainly not us. Which brings me conveniently to the topic of food and drink, especially free food and drink.

We have been approaching bars and taverns along the D2D route in the hope of garnering some support for our cause and we have had some success. However, two towns have been difficult to establish a good working publican/sponger relationship in. Where?

Well, a basic knowledge of Irish place name prefixes tells us that the term "Kil" means that a church or place of worship once stood at this place. One would therefore expect the good worshippers to also show some compassion for their kindred man but this is not always the case. Both Kenny and Arny's churches have not been forthcoming in fostering the required relationship. We might have to resort to drastic measures and spend some Euros and, besides, Andy's carry out could make a large dent in Ireland's GDP at the moment not to mention Allen's supply of Irish Spring water from China!

Come on Kilkenny and Killarney, we want to love you both!

LLL

Can't give you lots new information today as I am carrying out some black ops in an undisclosed location. Suffice to say that today a head for heights has been useful and an ability to swim has also helped. As far as news, all would appear to be quiet. More news tomorrow when I can return to the real world. Has anyone anything to tell me re Kilkenny or those other spots where we need fed and watered?

LLL

Today, a supporter of our endeavours, Austin Benson, demonstrated just how enthusiastic he is that we should be successful when it comes to the nitty gritty in July. So what did he do?
Did he cycle a virtual version of our route on an exercise bike to raise sponsorship?
Did he have his head shaved with the BBC present to record the event?
Or did he walk down the M1 to Belfast wearing nothing but a lycra jumpsuit with the D2D emblem emblazoned on the back?

Well? Which one?

Actually, none of the above although all three have been suggested and may materialise at a later date.

Instead Austin has spent the last few days inputting the route detail of our entire cycle into a website called Mapmyride. Contrary to what you are thinking, this does not list your sexual conquests on a Mercator Projection world map. No, it maps the detail of a specific cycle journey including waypoints (via points), elevation, distance and route profiles. These can be stored on your iPhone and will we be very useful when we get lost and can't find a convenient hostelry in rural Tipperary. Austin had considered joining us on our travails but was forced out by the recurrence of an old injury - sense.

LLL

Scary Sky - C2C 2011

With only two weeks left until H Hour, here’s a reminder of the plan as agreed on Friday.

Monday July 2^nd         Group Photo at Ormeau Park, 9.30. Hair by Cutting Edge at 10am. Vehicle packed and ready to leave by 12.30pm.

                                    2.30pm leave Sandymount, Dublin, destination Roundwood. Possible BBQ.

Tuesday July 3^rd.       Early start, Kilkenny bound. Lunch stop Tara Arms, Tullow

                                    www.facebook.com/pages/Tara-Arms-Tullow/. Kilkenny Crawl.

Wednesday July 4th    Leisurely start, destination Clonmel. No lunch stop today unless we use Clonmel. A much shorter ride. Evening at Station Inn.

Thursday July 5th       Destination Mallow. Lunch at Mitchelstown or Ballyporeen. Evening at The Lodge, Mallow.

Friday July 6th            Killarney via Millstreet. Lunch at Wallis Arms Hotel. Killarney has yet to offer itself up.

Saturday 7th July        Last stretch to Dingle via Annascaul. Lunch at South Pole Inn. Ring of Kerry Sportive today so there will be other weirdos in lycra around. Evening John Benny’s and Danno O’Keefe’s.

Sunday 8th July          Carrauntoohil Ascent from Cronin’s Yard via Devil’s Ladder. Evening Killarney Lakes Hotel. Awards Dinner

Monday 9th July         Homeward Bound

Quite obviously, this is not set in tablets of stone and there is bound to be an element of spontaneity and even surprise. There will be plenty of opportunity for craic especially since we have two guitars, two drums, a whistle and a fine collection of apples. Keep Andy off the Guinness though - it is definitely not good for him.


LLL

Post Coastal Challenge 2012

Woke up this morning and thought that the Coastal Challenge was a good idea. Fortunately, it stayed dry and so did we, at least until we got to the Esplanade for a post prandial libation. I asked a stranger to take this photo for your viewing pleasure and it transpired that I went to school with his cycling buddy - small world bla bla bla.

There was certainly a big turn out for the annual seaside jaunt so ably organised by the North Down Cycling Club so it was no surprise that Jonty had to forego the stew option at Portaferry since the queue meandered all the way round to Exploris by the time he got there. Who needs stew when you're 22 stone mind you? To be fair, the big lad was trying out his alternative cycle strategy, and all went pear shaped when the wheels almost fell off after twenty minutes. The challenge became a tad more challenging so all credit for finishing. Next week he tackles the Maracycle in a shopping trolley!

LLL

Nice weather for fish!
Pauline, Gary, Jonty, Stuart, Jimi, Andy, Noel, Allen

Last night we chose to rendezvous with the intention of ironing out the finer detail of the logistical organisation of the challenge. Andy was concerned that we should rehearse packing all the stores in advance of the start time but it later transpired that this anxiety was due to the fact that he is planning to be unwell that morning. So tasks have been assigned to each tour participant (even Ady in his absence) and the final meeting, prior to July 2nd, will be at the Tudor Cinema on June 27th for the presentation of "Breaking Away", a rites of passage cycling story starring Dennis Quaid.

A reminder of the fundraising page at www.justgiving.com/dublin2dingle where we have exceeded £700 to date. Please pass the blog and justgiving addresses to everyone who might be able to help in some way. As they say at Tesco, every little helps, and they have reduced the price of Magner's specially.

This blog does not intend to mention the weather again after this moan. It is absolutely crap as can be seen from the dull conditions in the photograph above which was taken last night. It is not conducive to productive training in the run up to the event and furthermore, it wrecks Stuart's hair. The long term forecast is for more of the same and I heard some individual from the media suggest that there would be no sign of the sun before September. That being the case, we are going to get wet, wet, wet -  with a little help from my friends we will get through this though, love is all around you see.........

LLL

Ady reads the words while the rest just mime

This photo harkens back to the days when Ady was fit and carried a handbag - yes, Chile 2009 and the Furious Five stand up for Ireland. The reason I thought of posting this is that we had more good news from Dingle last night. We had already secured victuals at the South Pole Inn in Annascaul. This is the pub opened by the famous Irish explorer, Tom Crean, when he returned from his travels in the Antarctic with Scott and Shackelton and last night John Benny's Pub in Dingle  came through with another offer of support for the evening. This is a traditional music pub, the owners are musicians and they are keen to get customers up for a song, so learn the words by July Ady or you're on your own.

Check it out at www.johnbennyspub.com

That's all for now. I have some training to do.

LLL

The Doc and the Jock, aka the driver and the skiver

Last week I presented a photograph of these two fine specimens of masculine virility without any explanation as to who they were or what they were doing with two cross-dressing ladies from the good ship SS Carabinieri. Truth is, I do not know what they were doing in that particular pose on that particular day, but the Hercule Poirot in me has detected that the photo above was taken on the same day. They seem to be advising the photographer on which aperture to use in order to get those hats in. Well, they are two fine hats.

Let me introduce Andy and Gary. These gentlemen prefer dykes to bikes (as demonstrated in photo 1) but do enjoy driving aimlessly around Ireland looking for lost cyclists in between tent erecting and cooking. Oh yes, from breakfast to barbeque, cornflakes to corn dogs, toast or roast, Heston and Marco Pierre, as they prefer to be known, will cater for your voracious appetite and then make sure you have somewhere to sleep. Just be careful not to ask for seconds as the connotations associated with that terminology could be dangerous. Ask them about their exquisite blood sausage - a black pudding to rival the best that Clonakilty has to offer.

There will be no hunger pangs with the Non-Hairy MiniBus Drivers, and that's a cert. Would you dare?

LLL

The Rocky Road from Dublin to Dingle

I'm sure there are many of you still not entirely sure what all this is about - like, where are we going? To remedy this question, today I have annotated a map of Ireland (left click to enlarge) which shows the route that the infamous riders will follow. Don't panic, we have a bigger map with all the pubs highlighted in case, or should that be, for when we get lost.

You will note from the map that we have seven waypoints including our start and finish. This means, of course, that there are five nights where we will be camping somewhere in the middle of Ireland. We have selected each destination based on the cultural and historic tradition of tavern density. Without exception, this has allowed us to visit the most beautiful towns and cities on this fair isle and indulge ourselves in all the best that Ireland has to offer. Personally, I'm looking forward to the German Sausage Bar in Roundwood, Le Joie de Vivre brasserie in Tullow and Tippy Tapas in Tipperary - all presenting traditional Irish cuisine without the Irishness - a reminder of the heady days of the Celtic Tiger before the feline temptress bore kittens.

We are still looking for friendly and generous donors to feed and water us along the route so please don't be shy. We eat (and drink) anything.

LLL

Cycling can be sexy if you wear your sister's clothes!

The Cotswolds is a range of hills in the south west of England. There is a trail of around 100 miles that runs, more or less, north to south through the hills. This, The Cotswolds Way, makes for some very pleasant off road cycling but it is not all fun. Fancy chancing upon these strange chaps when you have cycled up an almost vertical cliff hanging path, especially after an afternoon with Old Rosie.

I must admit to being partial to the feminine wiles of Old Rosie as she disarms and seduces the normally temperate and sedate demeanour of your faithful reporter but the D2D will have it's fair share of mistresses to pain. Start off with the fact that Tesco's are advertising Magner's at greatly reduced prices for the Summer season, so stock up now gentlemen or you may regret it. You may hope that you don't have to rely on Old Rosie when we get to Clonmel - after all, Ady has organised a session.

Do your worst, ya girl ye!

LLL

Give it back, it's mine, no, it's mine, not, it's mine.....

It was reported today in the South Belfast Herald of Free Speech, that the Olympic Torch had been kidnapped during it's journey through the streets of that city while on it's recent visit. Our supersleuth got on the job, and lo, the torch was uncovered in a wheelie bin in Orangefield. Two gentlemen are helping police with their inquiries but they cannot decide who to blame.

LLL

All that lycra makes me nervous

Today we took advantage of the pleasant weather and hit the road for a few miles. Chris and Steve (extreme left in the photo) are training for a jaunt across France later in the Summer. Their route takes them from Atlantic to Med and will involve several days of tough climbing in the Pyrenees. I find it difficult enough to climb the stairs to bed most nights so good luck with that chaps!

Needless to say, we found a friendly watering hole conveniently situated at the top of a short climb and we were able to take advantage of the wares on offer. I hope these hostelries are plentiful in the Pyrenees guys. I have sussed out several similar spots on the D2D route but I'm not sure that the champagne will be French, more likely that Clonmellian stuff that they make in the dark.

That's Beanpole Michael hanging on to the table. Note the quality working class bubbly!

Today is June 10th and while that means all real Cyclists should be in Wicklow for the 200, some of us have more important business on the agenda, like settling down for a few light refreshments and hoping the weather stays fine for barbequing big steaks - well we need to put some protein back after this morning's exertions. Maybe watch a bit of football too. Oh, and it's ML's birthday. Knew I'd forgotten something

LLL

Would you trust  these men?

So the justgiving page has been posted on facebook and sent to everyone's address book, hasn't it?

I went to an Art exhibition last night and was so overcome by culture that I had to visit one of Belfast's better known licenced emporia to assuage my hangdog thirst after this all out assault on the brain. Shiver me timbers and clock my surprise at meeting a colleen from the fair city of Kilkenny. Of course, the banter flowed and she recounted how often she offerred her honour. I was unable to honour her offer but did get her phone number and the names of similar establishments in her home town. Clearly it is our intention to employ this fine damsel as tour guide when we arrive in her neck of the woods on July 3rd.

LLL

Coastal Challenge 2010 - 5 of the crew

Hello Riders et al,

This weekend will see the launch of the Justgiving fundraising page at www.justgiving.com/dublin2dingle.

Tell everyone and let's see the money roll in.

All set for next Friday and the Euros. Here is a link to a friend's blog. He is lucky enough to be in Poznan and has more interesting stuff to report than us at the moment, but that won't always be the case!!

http://shaneandbrendaneuro2012.blogspot.co.uk/


I will post again when I think of something interesting to say or I might just slag big Jonty instead.